Remember back in the eighties when spiral perms seemed like a good investment, the movie ‘Cocktail’ was considered high cinema and Jimmy Barnes ruled the airwaves? Oh, wait he still does, on Fogey FM, doesn’t he…..
Oh well. One of the highlights of that time was the release of the original Milo bar.
The reason it was so good because it was just Milo – the powdery stuff you mix with milk – compressed into a couple of rectangular blocks and coated in chocolate. Simple. Perfect. Delicious.
Since then it’s been tarted up to resemble something that’s about as comparable to Milo the drink as Geoffrey Edelston is to good taste and common sense.
This latest version strays even further. It has a Milo Choc Brownie base (what the….? Who on this planet makes brownies with Milo?), then a layer of caramel and Crunchy Milo Balls that are covered in milk chocolate.
It tastes really nice, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that it is NOT a Milo Bar. It is a pleasant chocolate bar with a stodgy cakelike base, some sweet caramel and crispies in it. Even if the marketing department wanted to get creative with the truth, in reality the closest thing they could call this bar is ‘Inspired by Milo’. To be brutally honest, it should be called something else entirely. Brownie Crispy Caramel Bar or somesuch.
We all have a tin of good old Milo in our pantry and the last time I checked, they didn’t have a layer of brownie or crispies in them. It is powdery and a bar called ‘Milo’ should celebrate this and use that wonderful powder and seal it all in with chocolate. Like they used to.
After all, the fun of Milo was sneaking in when Mum wasn’t looking and spooning it out of the tin and directly into your mouth, wasn’t it?
